The Plan.

I really like this. Different people will read this and take different things from it, understand it differently from how i understand it because everyone is different in their own way. The piece that i took from this and made me think a lot is the plan.

I hate that there's a plan to life. Everyone should be able to do what they want in life, create their own destiny, have their own dreams and aspirations. But the plan. Have a dream, you just gotta be born knowing exactly what you want to do with the rest of you're life, and if you don't have that perfected and sculpted by the time you're 16 well you're pretty screwed. Finish Highschool. Go to uni. Get a job. Get married. Buy a house. Have kids. Die. People follow the plan strictly and usually don't even realise, and if you do want to do that with your life then thats great, as long as you're happy in every step of that plan! I know that I will follow that plan extremely loosely, I may not do things in that order and I'm not saying everyone does but thats just what I think society plans for everyone and probably without even realising it either. But I know that i'm not gonna follow that exact plan and I honestly couldn't feel like more of a disappointment to my parents. Even though they've told me they never will be I just do.

When I finish Highschool i'm going to England to get a job, save my money, go travelling around Europe, and at sometime go to America. And thats all I've got planned. I'm a huge believer in planning my own plans! Making sure I know exactly what I'm doing and when and where i will do it! Thats why i sort of feel envious of one of my friends. He knows exactly what he's going to do with his life. He's on a course learning skills that he'll use in his dream job. Once he finishes high school he'll go and work and hopefully have the time of his life!

I don't have a dream. I have so many ideas in what career i want to do but then at the same time none at all. I know that I probably will go to university at some point in my life. But it just does not appeal to me right now, thats not what i want to do, and i don't want to go there as a confused little teenager who just picks something and then i have to be stuck with that pretty much forever, i would have to get a job in that field of work and then pay off all my student loans. So no i'm not going to go to uni as soon as i finish high school. And i may not even go in the course of my whole life.

I just wanna have fun in my life. I want to be able to look back at my life and fully and wholeheartedly say that i had a great life. I wanna work in a job that i do love and just uggh! I hate that i don't know what I'm gonna do but then I'm kind of reaaaally not worried about it. They tell us not to get tattoos at such a young age because they're permanent and we might regret them. Yet every single teenager is being made to decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives. "Why is it that were always told not to get tattoos at a young age because we “will regret it later on” when we are basically told to choose a career path by age 18? I’d rather be 40 years old with a tattoo that meant something to me when I was young than be 40 years old not wanting to get out of bed to go to a job that I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens"

I hate it so much. We're 16, 17, 18 and we have to plan our whole futures. It's the stupidest system i've ever heard of, well actually been in. If i had to do what i wanted to do just two or three years ago i would be studying biology and going to uni to become a marine biologist. I have absolutely no interest in that! I used to love love love Justin Bieber hahahah Olea knows a hansim story about that, and know i pretty much despise the guy! Things change, people change, ideas, dreams, aspirations they all change. 

I have a plan. Its just not pin pointed completely to every little detail. Its extremely broad, and open and nothing is certain. Absolutely nothing in life is certain! You could think you're best friends with someone and then they cut you out of their life, you could think you've got until the end of the year with someone you love and then they're gone forever the next day, you'd think family is forever but then people fight and don't talk to each other for months and then their kids have to stay in their rooms while you have huge long meetings. Nothing. Everything is constantly changing and thats actually really scary. But you can't be afraid because thats life. Plans hardly ever go exactly as expected. 

I know that i want to go to England and have the time of my life. Spend time which my family that unfortunately won't be around for much longer, and the ones who will be around longer than me. Make friends. Get a job that i enjoy. Travel. Eat ice cream. Enjoy every single day that I'm there. Then i'm really hoping i figure out what i want to do, but for now thats the short term plan for my life. Well for the rest of my teenage years. 

I know that one day i'll have my dream wedding, have adorable little kids and build my dream house. But for now i'm worrying about trying to find myself, having fun and trying to not let societies ideas of how life should be lived get to me.

Sorry that was kinda deep and heavy and random and just yeah. I don't really know anything about my own life really. That was just a whole thing of me saying one thing and then just saying the complete opposite. So don't try and understand it coz even i don't understand it. Sorry it got kinda personal too but its may blog and i can't wait to look back in hopefully a few years when i have my plan sussed and just be like "oh how worried i was bout silly little things, because look at where i am now, i should've just enjoyed the the here and now back then instead of worrying about my future so much" so i think i'm just gonna take future me's advice and yolo up my life for now, love the people around me, make memories, laugh every day and just have the best day ever until tomorrow :D sorry and byyyye!

UPDATE: this song kind of a little bit says what i'm trying to say kind of just a bit yeah!