August Faves

PLL! So in like 2012 or 13 i started watching Pretty Little Liars but I get confused very easily, i like shows that don't have too many storylines going on at once or really long on going storylines, i just simply can't keep up ahaha but I decided to try again because Ton told me too and also beca the big A reveal was happening this month and i did want to try watch it all in like 20 days, do-able but I found out who A is midway through season 3 maybe ahahahah. I am loving it though and Ton is so sick of all my references and whenever something bad happens or anything I'll say it was A, and i have dreams about Rosewood and stuff ahahahah.

Songs. I'm not calling you a liar by Florence and the machine, it was on PLL and i really love it. Ma boyyyy Josh Golden and Andrew Garcia's song One Way Ticket, its so super cute i like it. Telegraph Ave/Sober by Daniela Andrade is such a good cover i really love it, and now i can't think of how i found her? But she has a small christmas EP. Speaking of christmas ahahaha i have downloaded all my christmas songs and been so excited, not for christmas yet but for christmas music definitely i have about 60 songs in my playlist 😂 And the Hold Me by Janine and the Mixtape, its a bit controversial between me and Olea on who showed it to who but its such a chill cool song.

This song needs its own paragraph. I Will Be There by Odessa is the best song. It was on Greys Anatomy and i love Greys soundtrack but was so freaking disappointed with the last season but i won't go into that because i love this song so freaking much. My favourite line is "If you ever need someone to just love you, If you ever need someone, to simply adore you, I will be there" I love the whole freaking song so much and listened to it when i went through the tree tunnels going to Hamilton and it was just perfect.

The Longest Ride and The Best of Me. The latest Nicholas Sparks movies which I've only just got around to watching and I'm in love with them. The soundtracks are so perfect and I'm obsessed with them. I've only watched The Best of Me once but its so good and i love James Marsden, its just so good. But i have The Longest Ride on my laptop so have watched it a few times and my favourite part is when she grabs his hat to give it back and he's like "keep it" ahahaha I love itttt!!! but yeah both bomb soundtracks.

Obsessed with Subway Surfers. Like completing all the missions and challenges and i even beat Ashers high score, 7 million for meeeee. Ahahah its so stupid but i love it love it love it!

So i had Netflix in England and didn't think anything of it but then just got a free month trial and omg it is so good and has all the shows i need to watch and love and I'm just obsessed with it!! We have apple tv so can watch it in the lounge and Tons on it and its just so freaking good!!

I'm not usually allowed energy drinks because i'm prone to migraines ahahah but caffeine isn't a useful factor into preventing them, but after i failed my driving test me and mum went to just a bakery and mum accidentally got a Blue V so i drank it and it was so good so i've been buying those but like i just wish you could buy it without the energy coz i just like the flavour

356 Things I was thankful for in 2012

I was looking through my memory box yesterday and found my hensimest list that i made in 2012. I found this scroll in the shed and used it to write down one thing i was thankful for everyday. Its the cheesiest most hensimest thing ahahahah but its so revealing of the person i was 3 years ago and how things have changed or how I've stayed the same ahahahah. Also i wrote 356 instead of 365 at the top of the list, and also skipped a few days so shows how good i am at counting ahahah. So here it is my list of 365ish things I was thankful for in 2012.


1. New Years Day. A fresh start
2. Leftovers
3. Moms
4. The ability to walk
5. Love
6. Fridays
7. Words that help you get through the day
8. Roof over our heads
9. Electricity
10. Colour
11. Books
12. Music
13. Sisters
14. Knowing that you’ll be safe
15. A warm bed
16. Fluffy kittens
17. Strength
18. Challenges
19.
20. Being healthy
21. Having dreams
22. Photographs
23. Stationery
24. Memories
25. Knowledge
26. Beauty
27. Confidence
28. Mistakes
29. The air we breathe
30. Acceptance
31. Appreciation
32. Spell-check
33. The first day of school
34. Patience
35. Food on the table
36. Things to believe in
37. Choices
38. Bruno Mars
39. Childhood games
40. My education
41. My future
42. Dreams
43. The unpredictable weather
44. Best friends
45. Technology
46. Grammar
47. Fresh strawberries
48. Miracles
49. Cures
50. Being able to laugh at your self
51. Organization
52. The internet
53. Swag babies
54. Smiles
55. Happiness
56. Childhood friends
57. Hair straightners
58. Meaningful word
59. Crickets
60. The perfect outfit
61. Songs with messages
62. Chapstick
63. 10 fingers
64. The ability to travel from one side of the earth to another in less than 3 days
65. Lists
66. Relationships
67. Creativity
68. Water
69. School
70. Facebook
71. Questions
72. Videos of babies doing cute things
73. Blank canvases
74. Making up for lost time
75. Second hand items
76. Strength to get out of bed
77. Sustainability
78. Repeating mistakes
79. Opinions
80. Charity
81. Weekends
82. Commitments
83. Rewards
84. Letters from loved ones
85. Cozy blankets
86. Unexpected surprises
87. Warnings
88.
89. Technology
90. Confidence to do difficult things
91. Circles
92. Knowing tomorrow is a new day
93. Decisions
94. Distance
95. Birthday wishes
96. Home cooked meals
97. Goals
98. Movies
99. Chocolate
100. The holidays
101. Achievements
102. Memories
103. Photos
104. Friendship
105. Dreams
106. Strength
107. Pizza
108. Appreciation
109. Freshly cut grass
110. Winning
111. Resting
112. Light
113. My dad
114. Dione
115. Courage.
116. Nana
117. Tears
118. Knowing things will get better
119. Practice
120. Jokes
121. Happiness
122. Growing friendships
123. Loving someone thousands of miles away
124. Sleepovers
125. Babies first words
126. British accents
127. A good nights sleep
128. Channing Tatum
129. Future plans
130. Unpredictability
131. Green eyes (preeeeetty sure this was about Harry Styles: P)
132. Whanaungatanga
133.  Organized people
134. Laughter
135. Invitations
136. Embarrassing stories
137. Being different
138. Independence
139. Opportunity to help
140. Romantic comedies
141. Obsessions
142. Bonding
143. Making new friends
144. Good ideas
145. Time with the ones you love
146. Strong people
147. Life coaches
148. Stressful times that push you to your limits
149. Knowing your limits
150. Tomorrow
151. Excitement
152. Road trips with amazing people
153. STAGE CHALLENGE
154. Being able to remember memories
155. Long weekends!
156. Cute guys who are taller than me
157. Compliments
158. Role models
159. Scarfs
160. Sidewalks
161. Funny t-shirts
162. Swirly chairs
163. America
164. Procrastination
165. Glow sticks
166. Nail polish
167. Camping
168. Last minute plans- sleepovers at Teahs
169. Building better friendships
170. PINTEREST
171. Birthdays
172. My IPAD :)
173. Diaries
174. Friends you’ve had your whole life
175. The Vow
176. All you can eat buffet
177. Dancing like an idiot
178. Car rides
179. Dione! X2 because I know I’ve already put her
180. Despicable Me Minions
181. Plans
182. Mail
183. The stupid things I do with Ton
184. Weddings
185. Folders
186. Beanies
187. Pressure
188. Rest
189. Communication
190. Random acts of kindness
191. Road trips
192. Acceptance letters
193. My weird but loving family
194. Summertime songs
195. When siblings get along
196. Weird dreams that you share with friends
197. Free wifi
198. Hot showers
199. Excuses to get dressed up
200. Rainy days
201. True friends
202. Chocolate
203. When I prove people wrong
204. The time I spend with my mom
205. Sleeping in on weekends
206. No homework
207. Friends you talk about boys with
208. Campfires
209. The anticipation if summer
210. Cold drinks
211. Blanket forts in winter
212. Spending the entire weekend with friends
213. Nutella
214. Playing with peoples looong hair
215. All my bracelets
216. Spending all day in your jammies
217. Vitamin water
218. Perfume
219. Taking pictures
220. Shoes
221. Bubble baths
222. Facials
223. Liam Hemsworth
224. Perfect nail polish colors
225. Snacks
226. Silly friends
227. Oversized sweaters
228. Collection nail polish
229. My changeable iPod case
230. Sidewalk art
231. Quotes from mean girls
232. Watching movies with friends
233. Moving your room around
234. Being home alone
235. Jelly bean factory jellybeans
236. Flavoured water
237. Wendy’s burgers
238. Ben & Jerry’s Ice Creams
239. Gravity
240. Disney movies
241. Unexpected discounts
242. Boys with manners
243. Creativity
244. Zooey Deschannel
245. Perfect hair
246. The Lorax
247. The beach
248. Pastel colours
249. People who think like you –Olea!!
250. Inside jokes
251. Perfect messy bun
252. Brownie in a mug
253. The whole Tahuri/Lloyd whanau
254. My journal
255. Aunty Sara
256. Chandler Bing
257. Black forest chocolate
258. Pyjamas
259. When your hair’s perfect
260. Songs that remind you of dreams
261. Oversized sweaters
262. My “unique” handwriting
263. Buying new clothes
264. E-mails
265. Jenna Marbles
266. Bunnies
267. Perfect accessories that complete your outfit
268. Airports
269. Tangled
270. Guys who admit they love Disney
271. Strawberries
272. The Janoskians
273. Curly fries
274. When guys smell noice
275. X-factor
276. Socks
277. Ed Sheeran
278. The bed intruder song
279. Lucky Charms
280. My “he said my story was cool and he called me bro” sweatshirt
281. Knowing my boyfriend can wear a cool story bro one  (and then Donny wrote, I know its Donnys handwriting) “if you ever get one”
282. Sunday morning, rain is falling
283. Blankets
284. Every time Teah says she loves me
285. Bonfires
286. Fireworks
287. Stalking
288. Pretty People
289. Wedding videos
290. Newspapers
291. I could not be more thankful for my beautiful friends
292. Hilarious classes
293. The bus
294. Macaroni & Cheese
295. Libraries
296. Thunder
297. RAIN
298.
299.Perfect toasties
300. Chapstick
301. Google
302. Today
303. Friends that have turned into family
304. People I hate
305. Happy songs that change your whole mood
306. Good food
307. Road trips
308. That my bestfriend and me can talk for 6 hours straight (aw that was when me and Olea had to go to school to do art, and she showed me The Script)
309. New people
310. When I wake up happy
311. Facts
312. The sunset
313. Driving
314. Ice cream
315. British youtubers
316. Finally laughing after not being able to
317. Long replys
318. Little baby clothes
319. Old photos
320. Finally getting the food you’ve been craving
321. Youtube marathon
322. The word toddling
323. When little kids draw you pictures
324. Bucket lists
325. Dramatically singing your favourite songs
326. Checking something off your check list
327. EXACTLY ONE YEAR TILL CATCHING FIRE
328.  Going to the movies with your friends
329. Friendly cashiers
330. Camping with friends
331. Country music
332. When my mom cleans my room while im at school
333. Making plans for the future with Olea and Teah
334. Talking to little kids
335. Cold showers in Summer
336. Vacuumed carpet
337. JAPAN
338.  When he smiles at me (honestly cannot say who this is about? Ahahaha like I had no mans around this time hahahah)
339. Santa
340. Candy canes
341. When people tell you the food you made is good
342. When all 3 of us are on Pinterest and just pin eachothers stuff
344. My new favourite candy custard and rhubarb bonbons
345. Songs from Disney movies
346. Good movies on the plane
347. Mustache everything!!
348. The sunlight after a month of rain
349. Spending the whole day at the Lloyds!
350. Lunch
351. The cutest babies ever Bobbie and Mabel
352. That I get excited for future plans even if its just tomorrow
353. My journal and blog
354. Skyping and voxering back home
355. Buying the perfect presents
356. Having yuck fish and chips then appreciating our good ones.
357. Cool rings
358. Being in the mood to declutter
359. PASSING NCEA!!!
360. Winter clothes
361. Cruddy reality tv
362. White hot chocolate
363. Knowing I could be a badass event planner
364. Dressing like an idiot with the fam
365. That I’ve had the persistence to finish this list

BRING ON 2013!

Thats literally what i wrote at the bottom of the scroll. This was when i was year 11, so i was 15 years old ahahaha and thats when me Olea and Teah started being friends so thats why they're in there coz i was so thankful they were my friends ahahaha. Theres also a lot of thing that i said more than once, which is interesting because obviously i care sooooo much about those things ahahahah. I noted them down as i was writing it all down,  and i dunno i just found it interesting, and some of them so stupid ahahah.


Technology 2 -- Obviously like who's not thankful for technology, and that was when i got my iPad hahah
Memories 2 -- I looooove my memories so much and especially thankful that i have such a good memory!
Photos 4 -- Hahahha i do love photos because they capture the memories and just make me happy!
Dreams 4 -- I have no idea why this is FOUR freaking times! Like dreams and ambitions orrr actual dreams you have at night? I dunno ahahaha
Strength 2 -- I dunno what's up with this one either! Like strength? What even ahahahahah
Appreciation 2 -- I am thankful for appreciation, like being appreciated and appreciating people, i think das important
Plans 2 -- I do love plans, and getting excited for plans
Rest 2 -- Ahahahha lazy asssss!
Chocolate 2 -- fat head
Creativity 2 -- honestly what the hell
Diary/journal 2 -- still love and forever grateful for my journals
Pyjamas 2 -- love pyjamas always have always will
Hair 3 all within 14 spaces -- honestly why?
Oversized sweaters 2 -- yassssss
Strawberries 2 -- yaaaaasss again
Blankets 3 -- i like that i appreciated this because i realise not everyone gets this privilege
Fires 2 -- ahahah yaaaass the inventer of the wheel
Chapstick 2 -- gotta have chapstick, twice

Life Decisions.

I haven't done a super rambly, type out all my thoughts and emotions, no structure no point blog post in like almost a year, which is crazy and also evidence of a point i wanna make ahahahah. So I've just had an emotional breakdown talk with my mum about next year and stuff, and now i'm gonna write about how stupid and difficult life changing choices are!

This year has been a shamble so far ahahahah like lets be honest, but its getting better and I'm a much happier person than i was in January. I started this year in England and went to a super duper dark place, like super sad, stayed in bed all day, didn't eat or ate way heaps and it was scary like i didn't like feeling that way, so distant from who I really am. So i came home and was feeling lost more than ever, coz at least while i was over in england i looked like i was doing something with my life and now i had nothing to do back home, but i was happier, being home with my friends, that just made all the difference, like i was so lonely in england, and i was home laughing and going on trips to Hamilton, going to school and going to Kapa Haka just having fun hanging out and socialising! I stay home and do the dishes and whatever jobs mum its for me to do and cook dinner sometimes, but feel like i should be doing more around the house but i just binge watch tv, I love it tho just watching season upon season of shows, but now I've got pressure from my dad, like not pressure but i can tell he's like disappointed and annoyed at me for not doing anything with my day, as much as mum tells me they've got no expectations for me i still just feel like I've failed them, I'm not a doctor and i left the nest then came straight back to it like i dunno its sort of a cloud thats always there.

I'm trying to get my restricted liscense, i failed it last year and have been taking more lessons, but I'm just a shit driver, theres no way to sugar coat that, I'm not confident and barely even know the road rules ahahaha but I've got my test booked for next tuesday which I'm going in to expecting to fail, like i wouldn't pass me ahahaha.

Next year my plan is to do a level 2 maori certificate course and sometimes i get really excited about it but other times I'm just like i do not want to do that at all ahahaha which is so annoying. Im scared really, scared that I'm gonna fail, that I'm not smart enough to understand, that i'll fall behind, i won't fit in like its scary i dunno. But me and Georgette are getting a house together in town and I'm so freaking excited and happy about that, and I'm so happy that she's happy and excited, likes its gonna be so fun, weird and new and exciting but fun. Buuuut then money. Money makes the world go round and i don't got nuuuun. Money is so stupid and annoying, like all my plans in the future i envision myself being rich ahahahaha but like how do i get there. I just wish it wasn't a big deal and i never want to be in financial trouble like i just don't wanna be poor ahahah.But life costs money man! Like my actual dream would be to pause time and watch all the tv i wanna watch and like somehow get a job and make heaps as money, figure out what the heck i wanna do then unpause time and live ma life fam! But thats just a fantasy ahahahaha like the world is not a wish granting factory. Gotta eat to live gotta steal to eat nahahahhaha. Im just excite for a life that I'm now realising might take a lot longer till i can live it ahahaha. I don't want student loans and depts i just daunt wanna be poor ahahaha but i gotta study and then get a good job and work forever for that to happen.

Also my parents do so much for me and i just like feel a big pressure of not knowing how to pay them back like I'm forever indebted to them coz they gave me life and like raised me to be classy naht flashy ahahah, but like I'm happy with who i am today because of the things they've given me and so all of a sudden i feel like i need to repay them, but mum said all she wants to see is all of us be happy. I dunno just a feeling I've been having lately.

I just do not like this time of my life, like yeah I'm happy but I'm so lost and confused, i have no idea what I'm doing and what i want, and its difficult when i see some of my peers going to uni and knowing exactly what they want to do but thats just what i see on the outside like i dunno, and then i compare myself to others who are like older than me and don't even have their learners licenses and i really just need to stop comparing myself to others coz thats toxic, i just need stay in my own lil bubble and worry about myself.

Okay i think thats everything ahahahahah just keep living lyfe and I'm giving myself till I'm 23 to sort my shit out ahahahhahahahahha so just do whatever till then, it'll all be alright. Deuces :)